A Weekend Unplanned

Happy Memorial Day Weekend!  We had blessed nothingness on our calendar (except for a chiropractor appointment and church commitments).  That meant lots of room for angst in my mind over days with nothing planned.  Matt and I slogged our way through Friday with low grade fevers, **impossible to swallow, insanely painful sore throat** yuckiness, busy work days and collapsed on the couch after getting the boys to bed.  I was so grateful that nothing was planned.  For once, this type a, need to have everything scheduled girl appreciated the lack of planning and open-endedness of three days off with all of our family home!

We did the basics….laundry, farmer’s market veggie shopping, LEGO building, room sorting/purging {the one MUST do was to locate a lost library book of Alex’s–happy to report, Fred and Ted Go Camping was FOUND!!!!}, painting, cooking, back care, swinging on the swingset, lots of alfresco dining, CAMPING!!! & classic movie watching, Sunday School teaching….and amazingly feel rested, healthier and didn’t have to deal with lots of traffic.  Can’t beat that!

Time and space and maybe…{SCARY!}….GROWING UP!?!?…..has helped me let go of my grasp on the perfectly planned, chalk-full schedule.  To see the value of time spent together, letting go of the need to program and craft a perfect get away.  This week I plan on posting some thoughts from Lauren Winner’s new book Still.  There is so much to unpack from this book–my poor husband had to suffer from me continuously reading quotes to him over the last two days as I devoured it.  It truly is THAT good.  Despite working in the classroom, battling a nasty bug that has left me only wanting to sleep, and with two boys needing our attention, I couldn’t put it down.  It even won out over mindless TV!  Miracles of miracles.  This quote from Saul Bellow that she shared hit me as I was thinking about our schedule, or lack thereof, this weekend.

Look how cute he is….gotta love Nobel Prize Winners!

Isn’t he WISE, though?!?!  ”They labor because rest terrifies them.”  Did you catch that?  ”They labor because rest terrifies them.”  I’m trying to sit with that truth.  That rest terrifies.  That sloth isn’t about lying around doing NOTHING, necessarily, but rather it truly is a “busy condition”.

I don’t have the answers.  I will always struggle with a deep need for control.  But, I’m choosing to keep it “simple” this weekend.  A first step at “resting”–stepping into the “terror” of rest, if you will.  To allow for time in the sun, sprinklers being directed at me by our 19 month old, no-cook meals {this girl attempting vegan, gluten free eating had baguette, brie and dry salami–and pears!!–for dinner}.  More to follow about Lauren Winner and her new book.  For today, though, lots to chew on thanks to Saul Bellow.  Tough truth, but a good one.

Hope you had a great Memorial Day weekend…

off to find flags to photograph for my step-mother-in-law!

Campout

{I know…two posts in one day….and the second on a Sunday night of a three day weekend….bad blogger protocol.  Oh, well.  Can’t win ‘em all.}

Cush Camping!  My wonderful husband acquiesced to our eldest’s non-stop requests to sleep out in the tent that we’d used for decoration for his 5th Birthday Party last weekend (pictures HERE).  We had a wonderful time celebrating with tents, binoculars, s’mores, trail mix, bug juice and family & friends.  It was so great.  But, the outdoors overnight had to be done.  Not the night PRIOR to the party (fearing no sleep), not the night OF the party (Matt was preaching the next day, on Alex’s actual birthday) and then the week unfolded.  So tonight, no work or school in sight, Matt’s and my sore throats subsiding a bit, became camping out night.

And the perfect opportunity to FINALLY test out our outdoor movie screen {thanks, IKEA!…bought this to shade our deck at camp and Matt repurposed it as a screen at our house here} and introduce Alex to Star Wars!

No outdoor, camping movie night is complete without popcorn and if you haven’t heard me rave about or directly experience due to my prodding, the mighty WHIRYPOP, then you just haven’t truly LIVED.  {if you are going to buy it, be prepared that it will come with “real theater” kernels….don’t be taken in by that…go for real, white kernals…you won’t regret it}.

A little beverage accompaniment….and you’re SET!

Sally made sure to get in the middle of the action, but has yet to enter the tent {and surprisingly, Drew won’t either….he and Sally are thick as thieves}.

I’m going to graciously bow out and let this be “BOY’S NIGHT”….so gracious of me….to sleep in my own bed with a warm cup of tea and be the pancake flipper in the morning!  So grateful for a techie husband who can engineer this night on a practical level and also on the bonding dad level.

We’ll see if they last all night….

And some popcorn updates, Circa January 2009 & May 2012!

Kicking Back

I love birthdays.  I love celebrating and making the day special.  Not extravagant, but special.  I usually count down and get so excited as my birthday starts coming up on the horizon, but this year, between teaching and parenting it kind of snuck up on me.

Husband extraordinaire planned a wonderful weekend, as usual.  It is rather tricky to “kick back” with two busy boys, but we still had a great time.  Breakfast antics at home….

Time at  Codornices Park, chasing children while trying to grab a bite of yummy picnic fair and catch up with friends…

Manicure, pedicure and iced tea with my step mother in law took place in the afternoon without children!

And then Matt and I got to go out to dinner and even sit at the chef’s table at Wood Tavern in Oakland.  The chef’s table allows you to peer over and watch the chef cook amazing dishes, with great skill and unbelievable calm.  A true multitasking feat.

We spent today at  Picchetti Winery, again, chasing children while picnicking….

Managed to corral the boys long enough for a picture and some great hiking, seeing snakes, butterflies, lizards and…..according to Alex…..a mountain lion that jumped in a ditch when it saw us…..hmmmm….

(SNAKE!) 

As I wrote on Facebook today, “Claiming the ‘normalcy’ of today….Motherhood….Drew drawing on furniture with pens, taking everything out of every drawer when my back is turned cleaning up his last mess. Trying to restore order and cleanliness to one small corner of one spot in the house. White noise machine set to “aviary” on the loudest setting possible by Alex to help accompany my sorting. Grateful in the midst of it all—the screaming, mess & mayhem—because I know so many who long for this gift of motherhood and don’t have it yet.”

Everyday is similar when life spirals and centers around young children, even the “special”, high expectation-filled days, like birthdays and Mother’s Day.  We often hope for and dream of a perfect 24 hours in time.  Filled with child bliss, breakfast in bed, spa treatments and spring elegance.  And indeed, while some of those happened, nothing is ever as we quite envision or imagine.  I am finding that asking for what I want (scaled down, husband-created plans, red saltwater sandals, dinner out, a hike) is key.  Not demanding, but not sulking either. Savoring the madness, knowing there will be a day, not THAT far off, when I might not even be able to spend it with both boys, if they’re off to college or other pursuits.  Remembering through this all that many of my friends LONG for these moments of insanity, yet instead, struggle with infertility or haven’t found a life partner yet.

So, I find myself putting on my party shoes, kicking back when/if possible, soaking it in and rolling with the moment.  I am thankful for the love and thoughtful messages of so many, the rose and note from a student, my husband who truly is the best companion for each adventure and the promise of a fun week ahead celebrating my Mom’s birthday and Alex’s.  May is unfolding in its true glory.

 

“Eh”

How often do we settle on living a life of “eh”?  Just getting by.  Getting through the day at work.  Crossing off items from the to do list, clawing our way toward _________________.  (You fill in the blank.)

Sometimes, the days we enter hold promise.  A vacation on the horizon.  A visit from a friend.  A blessed day of dropping both kids off at school and shopping unencumbered, running errands without “the attachments”. (I LOVE my boys, but let’s be real, shopping without young children is typically much more efficient and enjoyable!).

Other days, we wake up with dread, fearing the reality that lies in wait.  The looming assignment.  The doctor’s appointment.  The phone call that’s been postponed.  The dust covered surfaces waiting for a shine.

We have been placed on this Earth for more.  Placed here to create ART.  Not necessarily Picasso-worthy pieces or Monet brushstrokes.  But art, nonetheless.  And how often I settle for less, not more.

“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory, and Other Addresses

Maybe Earth Day can be a call to living fully in the here and now, messy and imperfect as it can be.  Seeking out the beauty and the grace that surrounds us.  Documenting it.  Pointing it out.  Taking notice.  Preserving it.  Seeing the art that has already been laid before us.

It takes effort.  It requires overcoming the “eh” that threatens to hold us firmly to the couch.  The “eh” that says, “basking in reality tv is better that being out in reality, touching, tasting and experiencing life.”  The “eh” that placates, assuring that we have worked too much and deserve disengaging with the life and community that pulses around us.

So push off the “eh”, embrace the ART and get out.  Don’t settle for the mud pies in the slum, keep searching for the holiday at the sea.

Going Green

I had the chance to share a talk with the moms at my MOPS groups today.  Thought I’d repost it here in case any of you are interested in making some small, simple changes or thinking more about how to “green” you home and life.  Keep in mind, I AM NO EXPERT.  Far far far from it.  Just on the road….

“Going Green”.  Two simple words that scream simplicity and a calm, easy life.  And yet, in my experience, “going green” isn’t something that just happens.  It’s never a task that can be conquered or attained.  Like our faith, it is a process.  It is all about being purposeful.  Being thoughtful and making some hard decisions.

Something changed for me when we had our first son, Alex, almost five years ago.  We lived ½ a mile from the Chevron Refinery in Point Richmond,CA.  On Martin Luther King Day in January of 2007, around 5:18am, we witnessed a huge fire spewing out of the stacks after being woken by sirens.  I was 5 months pregnant.  We lived in a 100 year old Victorian house, and we were being asked to “shelter in place”.  We were supposed to be safest if we remained at home, with our drafty windows and doors, hoping the fumes would not reach us.  As flames shot over 100 feet in the air, we looked at each other, packed up a few things, grabbed our dog and drove over to my in law’s house.  Finally, our concerns about air quality, fumes and pollution led us to put our “boy in utero” as the priority over everything we were being told to do.

Around that time, we were told about a website that talked about air quality.  You could type in your place of residence and the website would inform you about what percentage of the state had BETTER air quality than you did.  And Point Richmond….how did it fair?  Well, 95% of Californians lived in areas with better air quality than us.  NINETY-FIVE percent.  It was funny just a year after that, we moved to the North Bay, to Occidental, where only FIVE percent had better air quality.

After Alex was born, certain things started clicking with me….we’d have our house cleaned and I would get asthmatic upon entering the home again…..smelled good, but what was going on? And worse yet, my new infant was CRAWLING on the floor, licking the tables, etc.  INGESTING all of these perfume-hidden chemicals.

So, sad to say, a lot of what has motivated to start “going green” was having a child.  Maybe fear for his health, for mine.  It was more of a ME issue.  I kind of approached this in a backward way.

As a Christian, I began to see another piece to this puzzle of the environment and our connection to it.  Something shifted in me…when I looked at the reality of God pouring himself into creation, seeing the beginning of creation as an act of love.  God’s way of expressing who he is.  This change for me involved seeing that we are called into a loving relationship with creation because creation is a revelation of who God is.  This shift has given me a more lasting motivation to “go green”, based on LOVE not just fear.

Practically speaking, something else began to creep up.  I was determined, pre-children, to own nothing that was plastic and made annoying, constant, off-key musical noise.  As a teacher, and a pastor’s wife, we were literally showered with stuff when our first was born.  Our 1800 square foot house began to feel small.  I began thinking about STUFF.  We lived in a 1903 Victorian (yes, the one that was ½ a mile from the refinery!) and I started to get these weird thoughts….who USED to live there?  What was life like 100 years earlier??  Were they bogged down by plastic, screaming toys?  Concerned over getting the perfect gift for every family member and friend for each holiday?  Worried about getting the kids to bed and the house cleaned so  they could collapse on the couch and catch their favorite line-up of reality TV shows??

Let’s take a minute to think about this all, looking at the 1800s vs. today.  Compare 1812 vs. 2012.  Transportation was dependent on horses vs. gas guzzling cars.

Cooking, if left to Caroline Ingalls, was over a wood burning stove vs. today’s quickly pushed microwave buttons and food on demand.

Communication was accomplished by painstakingly handwritten letters vs. cell phones and text messages.  Entertainment consisted of cards, games, evening fiddle playing vs. distracted television viewing with a lap top prominently added to the mix.

What was the end result of these changes?  What does this “stuff”, the developments of the 20^th Century GIVE to us?  And conversely, what has it taken from us?

With this in mind, we decided that one thing we could do is rein what  we allowed into our home.  We tried a 75% rule.  We decided to put away/give away/”hide”, 75% of Alex’s things.  We read a book, Simplicity Parenting, in which the authors share a theory that by taking away 75% of your children’s things, you free kids up for more creativity AND start to open up the family to more of what was true in the 1800s—-more time together, less reliance on toys that had one function.  We started to see the advantage of having less and what it afforded our family, benefits to us AND the environment.

In one of the books I was reading recently, Go Green, Save Green, the author, Nancy Sleeth shared, it’s “not about making do with less, it’s about doing MORE with less.  It’s about spending more time with family, friends, and God and less time taking care of things.  Acknowledging that it all belongs to God and learning to be better stewards of his blessings.”

If we are attempting to love our neighbor as ourselves, then it HAS to tie into the world and the earth too.  The more we use resources up, the less available they are for our neighbor.  And for so many of our neighbors, especially those who live in the 2/3’s world, life just doesn’t offer the astronomical amount of choices and opportunities that we are presented with.  If we truly thought about, better yet, acted out loving our neighbor AS OURSELVES, we might make some big changes.

I know these aspects—-neighbor, stuff and God’s love for creation may seem disconnected, but for me, they were the pieces that started fitting together, motivating me to make change in my own life.

The obstacles can seem steep.

Making these changes can COST MORE.

Making these changes means a CHANGE IN ROUTINE & CHANGE IN BUYING HABITS.

Making these changes means RE-EDUCATION.

However, there are places to start.  Gathered from lots of blog reading, book skimming and friend gleaning, here are some of the places we can think about making some small, first step, changes.

• Buying whole foods (on a budget) & Eat Locally (farmer’s market!)
• Add soy in place of meat (GMO free soy)
• Making your kitchen paperless (paper towels are way over rated once you have given them up!)
• CFC light bulbs are simple, but make a big impact
• Switch to non-toxic cleaners
• Downsize and rotate your children’s toys
• Switch to gentle eco-friendly hair & skin care
• Start a Garden
• Make a compost bin (great place for food & lawn clippings)
• Turn down the temperature on the water heater
• Turn thermostat up 3 degrees in summer and down 3 degrees in winter
• Turn off lights when leaving a room
• Do laundry in cold water
• Activate “sleep” mode on your home office equipment
• Close curtains during the night in the winter and during the day in the summer
• Only do full loads of laundry and dishes (plus, do them at “off” times)
• Laundry on the line is extra time, but kind of nice…a little tricky in winter, but worth a try!
• Get a stainless steel water bottle and never buy a plastic one again:  water is heavy to ship, the plastic is made with oil and frankly, the kids have FUN picking out a fun bottle!
• Backyard chickens are awesome and not nearly the amount of work they seem to be (That tip came from my dear friend, Chad Rodgers….wish I could claim that I had chickens or had ambitions to make it happen.  At this point, I’m enjoying eggs from the farmer’s market or neighbors.  You seriously can’t beat that gorgeous orange yolk!  And yes, we are currently egg-eating vegans!)
• Organic fair trade coffee and tea  (Trader Joes or Equal Exchange!)
• Give your kids the full recycling bin to play with instead of buying them toys—they have more fun and they’ll be more creative.  Better yet, have them help you create the recycling bins in the first place….buy fun, bright-colored bins, paint sections on the side with chalkboard paint and let the kids label them
• Buy cds online and rent dvds (no more amassing gargantuan collections!)
• Read a book about how people live in the 2/3s world and you’ll be encouraged to make some changes!
• Plastic/canvas reusable grocery bags
• Go paperless on credit card and bank statements

Each of us, each of our families, has its own journey in this process.  The key is to start.  For our family, this process has become a chance to ask ourselves some questions prior to making purchases or decisions.  To slow down and think about how our decision will affect our neighbors and also how it will bring us closer to God, an opportunity to embrace and love his creation instead of being paralyzed by fear.

Resources:

I shared some books, websites, blogs and recipes with the moms at my MOPS group as well.  You can find all of these listed in PDF form here.

Additionally, we made cleaner for our bathrooms or kitchens for our “craft” today.  I’m posting the PDF for the labels here in case you want to make your own or share with friends.

Find the Room for Hope to Enter

My dear friend Erica wrote a beautiful post yesterday.  And these words she shared, from the hymn “Come and Find the Quiet Center”, spoke right to me as I sat next to Alex listening to a Curious George book on CD, trying to quell the volume still ringing in my ears from the day.

Come and find the quiet center in the crowded life we lead, find the room for hope to enter, find the frame where we are freed: clear the chaos and the clutter, clear our eyes that we can see all the things that really matter, be at peace and simply be.

Silence is a friend who claims us, cools the heat and slows the pace, God it is who speaks and names us, knows our being, touches base, making space within our thinking, lifting shades to show the sun, raising courage when we’re shrinking, finding scope for faith begun.

Frankly, even though my students have a rough time maintaining a quiet work environment, even when they ARE quiet, there still is the chaos, the clutter, the crowded, the shrinking.  Space, courage, faith and hope seem very distant and unattainable.  To go from that to home where screeching, constant need of attention and to do lists bombard you BEFORE you can even open the door….well, in the midst of all that noise, silence seems like a joke.  Not a friend, but a carrot, dangling before me, impossible to reach.

There is an internal struggle for me….a struggle that wages deep.  How do we find a space, a silence that allows for room to be made?  Room for Hope to come in?  Is it the tired thirties that I am waging against?!?  The never-ending assessments, state-mandated standards or the basic, unmet needs of students that keep me from seeing and claiming that space?  Or the insistent pull of my children, literally and figuratively, that holds me grounded to a stagnant spot?

And one thing kept coming to the forefront…the words of that hymn….we are called to action.  Not insane, running a marathon, action.  But called to….

Come.

Find.

Clear.

It reminds us that…

Silence Claims.

Slows the pace.

God speaks and names.  God lifts.  God raises.  God knows.  God finds.

Today, we stand in this odd gap, the 29th of February.  A time of transition from one month to the next, but a rarity in that we only find this date every four years.    I see this transition in our family’s life today.  Maybe I finally have enough time to stick my head up and breathe for a brief moment.  That moment of silence that allows God to find, speak, life and raise.

I realized my Valentine’s flowers are turning and ready to be added to the compost.

And that the end of wonderful vacation and grandparent time has come to a close (Grandpa written notes in lunchboxes, dominoes/lego and block building creations, hikes and adventures, meals at In-and-Out, researching pop up campers online)….

Trying to soak in the goodness of transition, nonetheless….the fact that though squirmy, we can still hold Drew, and my parents might not be able to pick up the chunk of boy on their next visit if he grows at this rate.  The transition to March and Spring, new life and growth….and St Patrick’s Day stickers at Trader Joes (the guy gave me a ROLL this morning to bring home to the boys!!!).

The fact that we got to enjoy breakfast (Tofu scramble!  Thank you, Hobee’s) with my parents, WITHOUT the boys!!, this morning before their departure and trip to the airport.

These transitions, turning the calendar, ending a long-anticipating visit, moving from vacation back to work and school, seeing the kids grow up….they aren’t easy and are often missed or rushed through, unacknowledged.  So, I’m attempting to find a quiet place to be silent.  Let hope filter in and be seen and heard in the midst of the stampede.  To mark the transitions with gratitude and open hands.  And maybe, if the Spirit nudges, take a few leaps into the unknown.

Thirty days hath September,

April, June and November.

All the rest have thirty-one,

Excepting February alone,

And that has twenty-eight days clear

And twenty-nine in each leap year.

Copy Cat

I came upon this disturbing scene the other night.  It was one of those times that you draw in your breath in fear and horror, but are also laughing underneath it all.  Drew had found the gas lighter and was attempting to light all the candles and then give “zerberts” to blow them out.

A Whole Lot of Random

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Never fully planned, we have enjoyed the most random of experiences over the last few days.

Alex loved his second visit to the dentist, Dr. Nick Gorgani.  LOVE HIM.

A last minute decision to go to Ardenwood Farm for pumpkin fun, train rides, farm animals, close-ups of Monarch butterflies and later carving.

A new couch (via Craigslist) entered our lives. Just got tired of sitting four across, feeling like we were at a movie theater! Drew is pretty stoked as it is just the right height for him to crawl up and use as a jungle gym/exploration tool.

A little time on the coast in Santa Cruz.

And….THE scare. Seeing “JURY DUTY” sticking out from the stack of mail. Noooooooo! And then the “phew”….addressed to someone who USED to live here.

Glad to be back in a routine, even though Matt’s two weeks of vacation was such a treat. This afternoon I spent five hours with the boys and had such a blast. It has been a rough, rough week with a certain four year old’s behavior. So, having a fun afternoon was the biggest gift of the last week. Connecting in a real way with your child—-well, that trumps a “whole lotta random” any day!

Aroma

We just got home from a cold trip to Yosemite.    When we planned this trip back in March, I had glamorous visions from recent Sunset Magazine articles of autumn glory in the mountains.  I hadn’t really bargained for the fall’s first storm.  I hadn’t factored the reality of a mobile, almost one year old, and sickness.  And yet, that’s something I should COME to expect.  Not to lie in wait for bad things.  Rather, to know that my expectations, my visions of reality, will no doubt come through differently when the date finally rolls around.

Needless to say, as I mentioned in my last post, Matt went up as planned on Tuesday and weathered the storm with Alex for two cold and wet days.  Crazy or hardcore???  Who knows.  But, I know they had a blast, despite Yosemite looking like a bit of a ghost town.

With a little urging from the hubby, I took off to join them on Thursday, despite rainy skies.

As Drew and I entered the park, we started driving through snow….lots of snow.  Narnia-esque….

We exited the third tunnel upon this scene.  I seriously find views like this one to be the embodiment of God.  His handiwork is beyond the fringes of our creativity.

We spent 48 hours soaking in the glory and views.  Yes, there were temper tantrums, cold noses and fingers, sleepless nights and time outs, but the good outweighed the bad.

Now that we’re home, I’m unpacking, washing, cleaning, putting away….and every bag I open, every Ziploc I unload, every piece of clothing I push into the washing machine, emits an aroma.  Smoke seems to be seeping out of each and every item.  Despite washing dishes before our departure, or even finding clothing that wasn’t worn, each item still smells of that smoke.  After two days of not showering, I washed my hair three times last night and it STILL smells like smoke.

Smells are amazing memory joggers.  They remind.  They take us back.  They cement life experiences.  When I smell campfire smoke, I am reminded of many moments–too many to recount here.  Our lives, prior to our current location, took place working full time at a summer camp.  Our days and evenings were often centered around campfires.

And that scent.  The odor.  The remembrance of smoke is vivid.  I washed and washed and washed my hair.  I washed and washed and washed our clothes.  I washed and washed and washed the dishes.  And still….the scent remained.

The aroma.

Today I am going to a few events and I want to wear a sign that says, “Yes, I smell like smoke, BUT…I’ve showered.  And done 6 loads of laundry and run the dishwasher….”  I tried to remove the scent.  Take away the aroma.  Yet, it remains.

I think we do that in our lives too.  We wash and scrub and work and try to remove the traces of our past.  Like the bag I brought home from our trip, though, or Alex’s little plastic camp chair, we often bare scars.  Marks that tell of our past.  Burns that can be seen.  Times where we got a little too close to the fire and didn’t make it out unscathed.

We try to wear masks and keep the scars and stains and hurt hidden.

….but the reality is still visible.  We can’t, on our own, keep it hidden or erase the sin, and pain and past.

I had a *moment* on the drive home, though, that reminded me of the Other Reality.  The truth that there is only One who can once and for all erase that past.  Only One who can take away the stains, blemishes, hurts and aromas of yesterday.  I was listening to KLOVE.  I am a KFOG fan through and through, but on the drive to and from Yosemite, without CDs or Bay Area radio coverage, I only had a few choices.  So, KLOVE it was.  This song’s chorus really stuck with me….

You are more than the choices that you’ve made, 
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, 
You are more than the problems you create, 
You’ve been remade. 

~from “You Are More” by Tenth Avenue North

You have been remade.  Not, “Your choices have been covered up as much as possible.”  Or, “Your mistakes have been concealed, but only until next Tuesday.” Or your problems will be alleviated, until the next temptation arises.”  We receive a promise from a God who loves us so much that we are REMADE.  Made new.  Our past is erased and forgotten.

“So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation:

everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new.”  

~2 Corinthians 5:17

Being remade, made new, washed clean of all blemish and scent and scar seems way too much.  We are taught to never ask for too much or allow our expectations to be too high.  And yet God promises us, in Jesus, the gift of becoming a new creation.  To be remade.  Still hard to grasp that we are made in God’s image in the first place, and yet, we must be remade.  Why would God allow things to unfold like that?  Seems a bit unproductive?!?  And yet, that is the way of it.  The way of grace.  The response asked of us?  To only see our aroma, our past, our mistakes, our humanity, and give up.  Give up our own efforts to wash, rinse, scrub and erase, and know that the power to do so is only found in ONE place.  The place where we let go.  And trust that God will remake us.

What to Do When You Don’t Know Where to Start…..

Usually my life is going at a pretty quick pace.  Sometimes it’s due to chasing and corralling the two kids or dog, but more often then not, it’s due to my own creation.  I like to make things harder than they are, sadly.  I sign on to too many commitments, I try to do tasks to the nth degree and go overboard, I like making to do lists (which means creating lists of lots of things TO DO…hello, Christine.).

So, I keep trying to slap myself silly long enough to slow down and breathe and take stock.  This week, we had planned on heading to Yosemite for 3 days with Matt’s dad and stepmom.  We had the campsites reserved, the lists and spreadsheets drawn up, and the days taken off of work in preparation.

And then this came up….for the two days we’d be there….

Chance of Rain: 100%

Chance of Rain: 100%

6 am 51°F Feels Like 46°F

9 am 51°F Feels Like 46°F

12 pm 53°F Feels Like 48°F

3 pm 52°F Feels Like 47°F

6 pm 50°F Feels Like 45°F

9 pm 48°F Feels Like 44°F

EEEK!!!!  No thank you.  I feel like as a slightly normal adult in society, I could buck up and deal.  But is it wise to take a mobile, not yet walking baby into that scenario…. {don’t worry, he can easily crawl on top of furniture, though}.

So after reading headlines like these….

Winter Storm Warning for Sierra Nevada From Yosemite To Kings Canyon, CA

Hazardous winter weather conditions pose an immediate threat to life and/or property in your area. Monitor media sources for official updates.

We regrouped.  The in laws cancelled.  We booked a few more days that are supposed to be sunny with 0% chance of rain.  And adjusted.  Drew checked his weather sources and supposedly we are fine.

After a lot of hemming and hawing, Matt took the plunge and decided to go up for the first portion of the time and weather out the storm.  And he invited Alex to join him.  He’s either a saint or crazy.

Alex packed his own “activity bag”.  Take a look at what he put in his Toy Story gift bag (clearly, he chooses his travelling bags carefully…..paper gift bags should totally withstand winter storm weather when CAMPING, right????).

In case you’re having trouble seeing, he included:

• 2 photo albums of pictures of me as a child
• a sticker and activity book
• various geology and rock books and a Magic School Bus book on oceans
• train whistle (no doubt for scaring off bears)
• a flashlight
• his STOP sign, stitching project
• a sketch book
• a birthday book one of our summer staffers made him
• heart sunglasses

All in all, he actually packed pretty useful things, to his credit.  And at the last minute, of course grabbed the fire chief hat.  Clearly, a necessity for Yosemite.  In the RAIN.

So, now that they’re off and I only have one munchkin, I find myself wondering where to begin.  I have two days in front of me with only ONE kid.  The possibilities……

And yet, with the treadmill slowed down, I often find it hard to know where to even start.  Stymied before I even begin.

Planning a little cheap room makeover for Alex is on the list.  And maybe allowing myself to breathe for a few minutes and let go of the guilt of not running 100 miles/hour.  Assuring myself that sitting still, especially mentally, can be and IS ok.

And….excited to hopefully see these views in a few short days!  Drew and I plan to join them Thursday through Saturday.  We’ll see how Mr. Mobile Boy does!

 Yosemite Valley, Ansel Adams