Sharing

This photo is clearly not frame worthy….but it is a blurry, “squint and maybe you can see it” visual of of our morning. We have set up a sleeping bag on the hard wood floor in our bedroom for Alex. On nights when our eldest has a bad dream, he can come in, not tell us the whole scenario (had to train him that a full rundown at 3:30am is not necessary), and sleep in our room.

This morning I awoke to a lot of zipper pulling, swishing of blankets and hard palm pounding on the floor. I came to enough to realize that Alex was rearranging things to make two beds and was pounding the floor “calling” Sally, our dog, to join him.

Things quieted enough that I was drifting back to sleep when suddenly a pack of raisins was thrust in my face. “Mom? I was hungry. And I thought you might be hungry too. So I brought you a box of raisins!”

And despite the early hour and my accompanying grumpiness, one can’t help but smile. I mean, who doesn’t want to be offered raisins at 5:45am? Breakfast in bed, 4 year old style.

Sharing and giving doesn’t come easily to Alex all the time. So we are working it out, talking every morning on the way to school about it, trying to get it right. Failure is always an option, and typically a reality, but I see progress.

We ask so much of our kids, though. I remember running class meetings with my 4th grade students and thinking, “How do they have the guts to talk about their feelings….real, deep hurts and insecurities in front of 30 other peers???”. Tough stuff. I ask Alex to share. And yet, it is tough to do the same. I hold, hoard, fear and grasp and rarely try giving first.

I am not even talking about the big S version of sharing. Not giving thousands of dollars. Just even sharing in the smaller ways. And doing so with pure intentions. It is just, plain, tough. And cheerfully?  Without reluctance or under compulsion?

‘Each of you must give as you have made up your mind,

not reluctantly or under compulsion,

for God loves a cheerful giver.’

(2 Corinthians 9:7 NRSV)

I am not writing this post because I get sharing. Only as a way to say to myself, “How am I doing at this?! Is my own four year old schooling me in the ways of abundant open handedness?”. I have read enough examples and seen in my own life the ways we grow and are changed by having open hands. By sharing and giving.

I guess it comes down to forgetting a simpler truth. The Truth and Reality that it isn’t mine to begin with. None of it is. Not even my family. The money we receive from work. The car we “own”. The furniture. The jammed to the brim closets with outfits for days. Our time. Our forgiveness. Our gratitude. Our understanding. Even the boxes of raisins.

So, as I seek to think through this reality….my own tight grasp on stuff…..I am going to take the example of a four year old. Maybe it is time to split up our bedding, share with the family dog, give a box of raisins. Just act on it. I have heard time and time again that habits take a long time to form. Repetition to the gills. Maybe it’s time for a give festival?!?

Drew, as you can see, is giving in his own way….doing his own stunts, as the shirt proclaims. Sooooooo giving….one year old “stunts”. Haha. There aren’t age or salary requirements, though. It is a call to share of what we’ve been given. Period.

Let’s look out. Outside our comfort. And look beyond ourselves.

And then find folks who are willing to call us on it when we start to look “Grinchy” like this….

(I have a great camera, and yet sometimes, the moment strikes to take a photo when it’s not nearby.  iPAD to the rescue. As you can see, it’s not the greatest quality….but it’ll do in a pinch!)

A Hungry Child Can’t Wait: Ask 5 for 5

Guest Blogger: Sarah Lenssen from #Ask5for5

Family photos by Mike Fiechtner Photography

Thank you Christine, and nearly 150 other bloggers from around the world for allowing me to share a story with you today, during Social Media Week.

A hungry child in East Africa can’t wait. Her hunger consumes her while we decide if we’ll respond and save her life. In Somalia, children are stumbling along for days, even weeks, on dangerous roads and with empty stomachs in search of food and water. Their crops failed for the third year in a row. All their animals died. They lost everything. Thousands are dying along the road before they find help in refugee camps.

At my house, when my three children are hungry, they wait minutes for food, maybe an hour if dinner is approaching. Children affected by the food crisis in Ethiopia, Kenya, and Somalia aren’t so lucky. Did you know that the worst drought in 60 years is ravaging whole countries right now, as you read this? Famine, a term not used lightly, has been declared in Somalia. This is the world’s first famine in 20 years.12.4 million people are in need of emergency assistance and over 29,000 children have died in the last three months alone. A child is dying every 5 minutes. It it estimated that 750,000 people could die before this famine is over. Take a moment and let that settle in.

The media plays a major role in disasters. They have the power to draw the attention of society to respond–or not. Unfortunately, this horrific disaster has become merely a footnote in most national media outlets. News of the U.S. national debt squabble and the latest celebrity’s baby bump dominate headlines. That is why I am thrilled that nearly 150 bloggers from all over the world are joining together today to use the power of social media to make their own headlines; to share the urgent need of the almost forgotten with their blog readers. Humans have the capacity to care deeply for those who are suffering, but in a situation like this when the numbers are too huge to grasp and the people so far away, we often feel like the little we can do will be a drop in the ocean, and don’t do anything at all.

When news of the famine first hit the news in late July, I selfishly avoided it. I didn’t want to read about it or hear about it because I knew I would feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable. I wanted to protect myself. I knew I would need to do something if I knew what was really happening. You see, this food crisis is personal. I have a 4-year-old son and a 1 yr-old daughter who were adopted from Ethiopia and born in regions now affected by the drought. If my children still lived in their home villages, they would be two of the 12.4 million. My children: extremely hungry and malnourished? Gulp. I think any one of us would do anything we could for our hungry child. But would you do something for another mother’s hungry child?

My friend and World Vision staffer, Jon Warren, was recently in Dadaab Refugee Camp in Kenya–the largest refugee camp in the world with over 400,000 people. He told me the story of Isnino Siyat, 22, a mother who walked for 10 days and nights with her husband, 1 yr-old-baby, Suleiman, and 4 yr.-old son Adan Hussein, fleeing the drought in Somalia. When she arrived at Dadaab, she built the family a shelter with borrowed materials while carrying her baby on her back. Even her dress is borrowed. As she sat in the shelter on her second night in camp she told Jon, “I left because of hunger. It is a very horrible drought which finished both our livestock and our farm.” The family lost their 5 cows and 10 goats one by one over 3 months, as grazing lands dried up. “We don’t have enough food now…our food is finished. I am really worried about the future of my children and myself if the situation continues.”

Will you help a child like Baby Suleiman? Ask5for5 is a dream built upon the belief that you will.

That something I knew I would need to do became a campaign called #Ask5for5 to raise awareness and funds for famine and drought victims. The concept is simple, give $5 and ask five of your friends to give $5, and then they each ask five of their friends to give $5 and so on–in nine generations of 5x5x5…we could raise $2.4 Million! In one month, over 750 people have donated over $25,000! I set up a fundraiser at See Your Impact and 100% of the funds will go to World Vision, an organization that has been fighting hunger in the Horn of Africa for decades and will continue long after this famine has ended. Donations can multiply up to 5 times in impact by government grants to
help provide emergency food, clean water, agricultural support,
healthcare, and other vital assistance to children and families suffering in the Horn.

I need you to help me save lives. It’s so so simple; here’s what you need to do:

1. Donate $5 or more on this page (http://seeyourimpact.org/members/ask5for5)
2. Send an email to your friends and ask them to join us.
3. Share #Ask5for5 on Facebook and Twitter!

I’m looking for another 100 bloggers to share this post on their blogs throughout Social Media Week. Email me at ask5for5@gmail.com if you’re interested in participating this week.

A hungry child doesn’t wait. She doesn’t wait for us to finish the other things on our to-do list, or get to it next month when we might have a little more money to give. She doesn’t wait for us to decide if she’s important enough to deserve a response. She will only wait as long as her weakened little body will hold on…please respond now and help save her life. Ask 5 for 5.

Thank you on behalf of all of those who will be helped–you are saving lives and changing history.
p.s. Please don’t move on to the next website before you donate and email your friends right now. It only takes 5 minutes and just $5, and if you’re life is busy like mine, you probably won’t get back to it later. Let’s not be a generation that ignores hundreds of thousands of starving people, instead let’s leave a legacy of compassion. You have the opportunity to save a life today!

What You Are in Love With…

I found this amazing bumper sticker at Penzeys Spices while in Portland in June and had a bit of a squealing moment with my friend, Elena.  It became my favorite souvenir from the trip and it was FREE!  I think I was extra excited because it just sums up so much of what matters to me.  Loving people, good food and hospitality.

This week, as the summer winds down and fall creeps in (although the WEATHER here wouldn’t suggest that~~this Washington girl is ready for a little cold and rain!), I am trying to get my hands on as many simple, yummy, flavorful treats as possible.  Heirloom tomatoes, nectarines, basil…yum!

The colors, rich flavors, and simplicity makes my heart beat a little faster with glee.  My natural tendency is to want to plan, create and execute fun meals.  I love having people over, opening our home, having a leisurely meal outside with great conversation.  Not too many things that rate higher than that for me!

Enter —  stage of life of the boys…..

And yes.  Well.  Ummmm.  Hospitality.  Cooking.  Meals.  Conversations?  They just all look quite different these days from the “ideal”.

Matt graciously put child locks on all the cabinets in the kitchen this week….hallelujah!  But the corner, swivel cabinet still needs a remedy.  Alex attempted to make my cooking experiences simpler by installing his own childproofing—-masking tape.

Accepting that, though, and still looking for ways to step up and into hospitality, despite the insanity, is important to me.  I have no need to shield the world from our day-to-day lives—-the constant chatter and creations and movement.  Meals have to get a bit more basic and simplistic; timing often revolves around naps and bedtimes and baths; and conversations are often interrupted {despite working on “Excuse Me” social norms}.  But, love can still flow through those places, conversations and meals.  Hospitality can still be extended.  We can still say “yes” to God, opening ourselves up to be present and pouring out, even in the moments of red-faced embarrassment, sweaty brows from chasing a newly-mobile infant, and exhaustion.  I’m starting to see that even in these times of being at my wit’s end, times that even make extroverted me, an introvert, crave alone time, that God will give me what I need to pour out to others.  And most of the time, in those moments of communion and community, I find myself filled up ten-fold.

Prior to working at Westminster Woods, back in 2008, we were given this quote to pray with and sit with during the interview process…

Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you will do with your evenings, how you will spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love and it will decide everything.

~Pedro Arrupe

It will always be a touchstone piece of writing for me.  A reminder about what really matters.  That falling in love with God first and foremost, knowing what makes me tick/what my gifts are, and then handing that back to God and serving and being/embodying that love is what it’s all about.  Do I live that way?  Not so much.  There’s a lot of growling under my breath, threatening crackers and water for dinner due to my exhaustion, and frustrations with thrown food and messy, rice-cereal covered floors.  Deep down, though, I know what makes my heart beat, and the ways I most naturally feel joy in the midst of service.  So, here’s to claiming that, our places of deepest love and joy, even in the chaos.  And frankly, the gift of mild, autumn nights, dusk skies, a glass of wine and conversation as the moon rises isn’t too shabby either.

Momentum

We are talking a LOT these days about momentum.  Alex has been into swings since day one, and now, at 4 years old, I am convinced that pumping is possible, potentially revolutionizing his swing experience.  Drew tried out the swings the other day for the first time and was in heaven.  In addition to pumping, we were talking with Alex about momentum in regards to pedaling his  bicycle.

Trying to get the legs going in a rhythm, picking up speed, trying to look ahead and steer simultaneously.  It’s a lot to handle.  Almost too much to remember and then implement.  When do these skills become second nature?  When do we internalize and live into the momentum?

I’m reading Mark Labberton’s book “The Dangerous Act of Loving Your Neighbor” right now….in an internet book club.  Ten of us, forging friendships over the last 20 years through our connections at First Presbyterian Church in Berkeley, are communicating through a blog site to read Mark’s book this fall.  Everyone is flung throughout the country, and actually, the world, and yet, we are attempting to connect weekly about the ideas and themes and challenges Mark presents.

This week, the concept of momentum has been on my heart.  He writes, “We can peek out and see and feel for others beyond this side of things, maybe even catching a glimpse of that other side.  But we are like rubberneckers on the freeway–maybe we look, but then the momentum picks back up and we get on with where we were headed.  We may not even remember we ever slowed down or saw anything that should keep us from the mall.  And rubberneckers never help.  They just slow things down and annoy everyone.  The pressure is on:  just keep moving.”  pg. 46, Chapter 1

Can you relate to that?  The need to just keep going otherwise you might just not get back up?  I feel that every night.  I race, frenetically, prior to putting the boys down to bed.  Racing to be sure all the dishes are washed and toys picked up and counters wiped down.  Keep the momentum.  Keep the momentum.  Don’t stop.  Don’t slow down.  I do this because I know my nature well enough.  That when the boys are down to bed successfully, my ability to function and follow through on almost anything is tapped out.

In light of momentum in regards to caring for and serving others, Mark poses the question, “How does your life’s momentum affect your capacity for empathy:  entering into the lives and need of others, especially those who have no tie or evident benefit to your life?”  I don’t want to live in constant guilt about this.  I know my life stage makes the two little buggies my biggest area of service right now.  Well, I guess THREE folks…Sally counts.

The question that keeps moving around in my mind is this, though, “How do we answer these questions about empathy, service and momentum as mothers of young children?”  I find myself trying to balance over-committing, almost to the detriment of putting my kids second and then, to over-correct, wanting to pull out of everything so as to keep life calmer.  That might be an oxymoron in our family.  ”CALM”???  Maybe not.

I know that serving in ways I have previously, especially with youth, just isn’t possible these days.  Afraid to completely lose any momentum, though, I am working through some possible opportunities for service, weighing the costs, and praying a lot these days.  I want to know how to slow down life’s momentum enough to allow emotional space for empathy and the chance to enter into the lives and needs of others.  I truly find that doing so tends to give me more emotional energy to serve my closer sphere, my family.  That may be in direct relationship to my extroverted personality, but I also believe that God does give us bandwidth, and even abundance, when we enter in and serve, a little beyond our comfort zone or capacity.  God meets us in those places of barrenness and gives abundance, manna, for our survival.

What’s on the horizon, then?  What lies just beyond our vision and ability to see and predict?  No doubt, opportunities.  Chances to enter in and serve, if we slow down the culturally-driven momentum long enough to see and respond.

What, then, is the cost of empathy?  Conversely, what is the cost of momentum?  And where, if it exists!!, is the happy medium?!?