An arrow so they know which room is their’s….

Another arrow on the nightstand….in case they are confused as to which bed they should claim.

A “welcome” sign attached to a quickly deflating balloon from one of my students….

I can laugh at this all…or find it endearing and cute. But really, who doesn’t want to be welcomed? To be affirmed for showing up? To know that someone was anticipating your arrival and actually took time to prepare the space for you, with you in mind?

Sheila, my former boss at Westminster Woods Presbyterian Camp, always stressed this point. If we were leading staff devotions, Sheila always made sure to arrive early, bring fresh flowers, light a candle, move the chairs or set the theme of the space aesthetically. And she was so right….it made everyone who entered feel welcomed, wanted, valued and desired.

Arriving to school last Thursday, finding an overflowing bag of Valentine’s, Teddy bears, chocolates, balloons, silk flowers….well, it put a smile on my face. And it changed the downward, stressed trajectory I was already heading down. Things turned around and my day shifted at the wee hour of 7am.

So………are your bags packed? Your backpack ready? Did you bring snacks and things to keep you busy? Did you pack some extras for your companions? Maybe the traveling companions you don’t even know yet?

Are you looking for it? Looking for ways to welcome? To make a place of warmth for those on their way into your sphere?

Luckily, there are often some arrows to lead the way, if we’re aware enough to look for the trail markers in our path.

“The earth will never be the same again
Rock, water, tree, iron, share this grief
As distant stars participate in the pain.
A candle snuffed, a falling star or leaf,
A (child’s) death, O this particular loss
A Heaven-mourned; for if no angel cried
If this small one was tossed away as dross,
The very galaxies would have lied.
How shall we sing our love’s song now
In this strange land where all are born to die?
Each tree and leaf and star show how
The universe is part of this one cry,
Every life is noted and is cherished,
and nothing loved is ever lost or perished.”

― Madeleine L’Engle, A Ring of Endless Light

Quote given shared from my friend, Valerie, on her blog.  The original said “dolphin.” It was replaced by “child.”

In the past week we have watched a dear friend lose her almost 3 month old baby.  Despite the fact it was expected, it happened fast.  And frankly, how does anyone really prepare for the death of a sweet infant? Just yesterday, the husband of one of the most phenomenal women I know died.  George had a heart so full and giving that it is pretty hard to fathom.  Somewhat fitting that a man who lived his life from a starting place of love would pass on Valentine’s Day.  George’s wife was one of Alex’s preschool teachers last year and continues to be an incredible part of our lives.

Death is such a tough topic.  Each person deals with it differently.  When death is imminent, some are open and honest about what is to come.  Others more private.  And with both of these scenarios this week, I knew I would have to chat with my eldest about each situation.  Alex was just about to start a painting for George when we received news he’d died.  My heart sunk and when we began the conversation, he was just so sad that he wasn’t going to get to give his painting to George in person.  We ended up re-channeling and making one for George’s wife.  But so began the starting place for our conversation….trying to talk about how Alex wouldn’t get to see George again.

a beautiful picture that hangs on our wall, painted by George and gifted to Alex last fall 

And then sweet Julia.  Not even 3 months old.  An incredible witness to truth, love and honesty in her short time here.  And yet, how do we talk to kids about the harsh reality of an innocent, sweet bundle of baby goodness dying?  Immediately Alex connected the situation to Julia’s older sister, a classmate and wonderful friend of his at school.  He wondered how she was doing and felt sad for her.

About seven and a half year’s ago our friends lost their son, Zachary.  We adore this family, and have had the gift of knowing them through church settings and school.  Zachary’s death still brings me to tears.  It’s still hard for me to imagine why.  Here’s a video that gives you a little taste for his sweet sweet life….(the video is made to support a wonderful organization, the ben towne foundation)

We loved the name Zachary, and wanted to honor Zachary’s life and amazing presence.  So, when Alex was born, that became his middle name.  I often talk to Alex about who Zachary was and what the name means to us….the power of Zachary’s influence during his short life.

All this to say—death is hard.  It is not something we like to think about, especially in our culture.  And approaching it with children seems too challenging.  In an effort to be honest, but age-appropriate, we have had conversations this week with Alex about the events that have unfolded.  But as is often the case, he’ll bring up further questions or concerns at unexpected moments.  I keep reminding myself that grief is unpredictable, even though there are psychologically “proven” stages of it.  I’m guessing that my job is to do a lot of listening and not too much talking.  We also used a wonderful resource at my school with students when Zachary died back in 2004.  The book is called Tear Soup and I thought I’d pass it on here.

There is hope and joy knowing that all three of these dear souls are in a place without tears.  Without pain.  Without suffering.  A place of healing.  For me, the events of this week have reminded me to take time to say and really mean, “I love you”.  To sit with my family and soak them in (which last night meant surviving a Valentine’s last minute meal at PF Changs since we had a gift card….wow….that was a lot of messy rice we left at our departure!).  And to cling to and remember that God promises to “make everything new.”

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.  He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

~Revelation 21:4-5

When I was teaching in Albany, we used to do a monthly “Community Sing” and the 4th graders were often responsible for February.  So why not make 9 and 10 year olds sing LOVE songs!?!  We did a fun version of “L-O-V-E” (Nat King Cole’s song) and yet my favorite of all was “525,600 Minutes:  Seasons of Love” from the musical, Rent.  It still makes me belt and get a little sappy and goose bumpy when I hear it.

So today, in honor of the one day we “officially” focus on love, I wanted to post the lyrics to that song and a video of the cast singing it.  A reminder that even though it IS Valentine’s Day, today…each day…the year…should be measured in love.  Measured in the small moments.  Measured in cups of coffee and lessons learned.

Alex was in charge of “red fruit” for his class party on Monday….and he never needs an excuse to use a cookie cutter.  So, we popped it out and attacked the strawberries and watermelon.

We used the trusty camera to get some shots to use for their Valentines for school….

And my favorite thing was using coupon codes at 3 spots to get cards for free or $1 a piece.  Shutterfly, Tiny Prints, and Julie Ann (sold on etsy).  I love getting to create personal cards with pictures.  And for $2 total for ALL THREE cards!??!  LOVE IT.

With two young children and a budget to keep in mind, we will no doubt cash in on the 2 for 1 Peet’s Coffee special for a family outing and then cook some indulgent, rich and mouth-watering vegan/gluten-free/sugar-free dinner after the kids crash.  Maybe add in a movie?  Or Glee/New Girl/Parenthood marathon?  To me, though, as the song from Rent reminds, it really is about the minutes, moments we share.  Not the big, flashy bouquets of red roses (GAG!!!!!!!!!!!) or fancy, uncomfortable, indigestion-inducing meals out.  {Christine Edit post first publish of this post…..I LOVE flowers, folks.  I just tend to be the more bright, crazy colored odd flowers. I know I’m weird.)

Hope your day is filled with lots of love.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes,
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Moments so dear.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights
In cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.

In five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure
A year in the life?

How about love?
How about love?
How about love? Measure in love

Seasons of love. Seasons of love

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes!
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Journeys to plan.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure the life
Of a woman or a man?

In truths that she learned,
Or in times that he cried.
In bridges he burned,
Or the way that she died.

It’s time now to sing out,
Tho’ the story never ends
Let’s celebrate
Remember a year in the life of friends
Remember the love!
Remember the love!
Seasons of love!

Oh you got to got to
Remember the love!
You know that love is a gift from up above
Share love, give love spread love
Measure measure your life in love.

Seasons of Love.  Seasons of Love.

Yesterday we had a cookie decorating party with some friends. One of my biggest vices? Sugar cookie dough and frosting slathered sugar cookies. But, I stayed strong.

Then came pancakes for the boys for breakfast this morning. Man alive there is something special about morning sunlight and the breakfast routine. But, no maple syrup for me.

As mentioned last week, I am still finishing up the tail end of purging our books and magazines. Last night I tackled the magazines. Food and Wine. Everyday with Rachel Ray. Everyday Food. Bon Appetit. And seriously….look at the cover of that issue of Bon Appetit….FRIED CHICKEN. That, in and of itself, isn’t a vice for me, but it’s like the magazine is flaunting “off limits” food in my face taunting me. Thanks a lot, fried chicken!

I still have about 1/2 of the magazines to get through, but saved Dwell, Anthology, Martha Stewart Living and REAL Simple. Not so focused on JUST food.

I know this is worth it. I have a clearer, less foggy head, feel more energy, etc. But, oh, my…..just saying no isn’t so easy some days. There ARE two “little” distractions that keep my mind off of it for the most part, though. Happy Sunday!

And lots of “artwork” and decorating of his IKEA pod chair.

And this whole experience just makes me feel….so….”warm and fuzzy.”. UH, not so much. It makes me frustrated, confused, angry, annoyed and embarrassed. Maybe even filled with a little….rage. I know that word is harsh, but sometimes, that is the true emotion.

So, follow through and consequences are required. All art supplies are off limits for a week. Sharpies off limits PERMANENTLY….pun intended. And tv, movies, videos, iPad usage, etc is off limits for a week.

So, he is left to figure out things to do to occupy himself. Mr. Alex is pretty imaginative and creative, so he should be fine. But, I might not survive a week without the crutch of the tv babysitter. I am that mom sometimes. Maybe a lot of the time. And yet the quiet has already allowed for me to hear imaginative tales to be spun of animals and pirates and dinosaurs…

Time spent working on a stage for his LEGO people. Actually, according to Alex, a “bandstand”. Thank you for the education, Curious George.

Matt’s at a retreat today, but has been transforming our backyard for summer fun and a garden!!!!! Seeing all these limbs down after some pruning and the painstaking process of installing weed barrier fabric….well, let’s just say I’m glad I have a visionary husband who likes projects. I like the end results. The FRUITS of the labor.

But it was a visual reminder for me of a truth I have heard for many years. A reminder that pruning is crucial for healthy growth. That we have to be consistent about preparing for planting new things in our lives. To make a plan to keep weeds from taking over in our lives.

So even though I don’t want to help Alex “lay down some weed barrier” and “prune some branches” metaphorically speaking, that is part of my role as his Mom. Not to get angry and question his worth. That is already determined. And thank goodness God extends deep grace and rejoices over us with singing. Because we will mess up. We have messed up. And amazingly, our screw ups don’t embarrass God. They no doubt sadden God, but luckily God continues to love us.

That is NOT easy for me. But, for now, even though I don’t particularly like following through, I will do so. Not just out of anger, frustration or a desire to inflict pain, but somehow to lay claim to love. Love that gives and maintains boundaries. Love that seeks to mold the best child possible. Love that is consistent, even when it’s painful.

And yes, I will be watching Downton Abbey and the Bachelor after he goes to bed. Mom needs her unwinding tv watching!

But I also spend moments thinking through my list, almost a checklist similar to ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas.  I make sure that the lunch bags are all packed and snugly tucked into the fridge.  The waterbottles are filled.  The coffee beans are in the grinder.  The plastic cups and straws are lined up, single file next to the blender awaiting spinach, frozen blueberries, bananas, soy milk and pomegranate juice in the morning.  The bottles are filled with milk.  Alex’s sharing is in a bag by the door.  Drew’s diaper bag is packed.  My school bag is prepared and set by the door.  My clothes are set out in the hall so I can dress in the dark and not wake up the sleeping family….which is rarely still sleeping after 6am, sigh.

All this to allow for as smooth a morning as possible.  And frankly, it’s never smooth.  My mornings and my Thursdays/Fridays involve people.  Lots and lots of people.  Many of the 9 and 10 year old variety.  And folks, they just aren’t predictable.

In spite of unpredictability, though, a plan is key for me.  A plan is only that, a PLAN.  With a dose of humor and a ton of flexibility, there is a happy medium to be found.

And frankly, in the midst of it all…the challenges, the voice-raising, the botched lesson plans, the broken pencils and evaporated erasers—there is a blessed routine.  There is even blessing in the asphalt.

There is blessing in the powerlines  which cut across the morning sunrise-filled sky.

There is blessing in the broken pencils.  In the spilled smoothies.  In the never-finished (or started!) coffee.  In the blasted PUMP UP KICKS music on KFOG.

Hope you are off to a wonderful Friday and the weekend ahead…..full of blessings, even of the unexpected variety.

“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well,

if one has not dined well.”  

- Virginia Woolf

Oh, yes, Miss Woolf.  So true.  Sotrue.  Dining well.

We have been so so spoiled.  Matt and I have had the treat of dining out at some wonderful venues.  The gift of taking your time, savoring the meal, enjoying the flavors, letting the food become a memory, that is something that I put at the top of my priority list. These days, it is TOUGH to make that happen during day-to-day life.  For many of you who have eaten with us, you know that we are not the poster family for patient, perfect toddler/preschool diners.  Nope.  We are usually trying to squeeze in a “Thank You to God” prayer, some conversation about our days and keeping everyone in their seats (Drew is currently a master of escaping the locked bounds of his high chair).

But I’m am realizing more and more that eating is a means to living well.  The process of planning, preparing and consuming food is part of our daily survival and it can be a challenge to many (me included).  For over a year we have had a weekly menu plan and shopping trip to allow for less waste and easier preparation (in theory).  But over the last 4 weeks we have also jumped into a new eating plan called Eat to Live.  The first six weeks involves a vegan diet while eliminating carbs/gluten and sugar.  It has been intense.  But, an amazing process.  Many have asked “WHY???” (for the love of GOD!) we are doing something so crazy.  For us, we do hope to lose weight (and we both have), but even more so, to get healthier, feel better and more energized, more clear-headed and less “foggy”.

One of the motivators for us has also been some documentaries too.  Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead.  Forks Over Knives.  Food, Inc.  Fast Food Nation.  All are WELL worth watching.  Hard to watch, but so good.

I am slowly but surely collecting recipes that work for us.  And now, after a month, we are getting creative with what we can make without using the program’s prescribed recipes. A favorite for us prior to the last month has been smoothies.  I have shared about them before (here and here).  But a few folks were requesting any suggestions and ideas for doing smoothies and so I thought I’d post a few recipes in case you’re interested.

Smoothie Recipes We Enjoy:

Creamy Fruit and Berry Smoothie

Ingredients:

1 cup pomegranate juice
1/2 cup vanilla soy or almond milk
1/2 cup frozen strawberries
1/2 cup frozen blueberries
1/2 cup frozen peaches
1 banana
2 tablespoons ground flax seeds

Blend all ingredients together in a high powered blender. Serves 2.

Eat Your Greens Fruit Smoothie

Ingredients:
5 ounces organic baby spinach
1 medium banana
1 cup frozen or fresh blueberries
1/2 cup soy milk
1/2 cup pomegranate juice or other unsweetened fruit juice
1 tablespoon ground flax seeds

Instructions: Blend all ingredients together in a high powered blender until smooth and creamy. Serves 2.

Other Resources:

Veggies for the Picky Eater post from Kristen at Rage Against the Minivan

Six Tips for Making Sensational Green Smoothies post from Simple Mom (written by Lisa Byrne from Well Grounded Life)

10 Recipe Ideas for Smoothies from Real Simple Magazine

Tips for making a Smoothie Kid from Sara at Happy Foody.  And a video of Sara making a green smoothie (my favorite….tropical!!!  To make a tropical smoothie, I usually start with a can of coconut milk, a cup of frozen pineapple, a cup of frozen mango, 6 oz of spinach, some water–or a splurge of some juice, and 2 bananas.  Serves 2.)

I also posted about green smoothies and included a recipe last April.  Find that post here.

This process is LONG from over.  Today, in fact, my MOPS group had a wonderful speaker, Kandice Stillman, from Whole Child Wellness.  It was an amazing hour of great information and suggestions for how to implement this all with KIDS.  So, share your tips, resources and suggestions in the comment section PUUHHHHLEAZE.  We need all the tips and help and tricks we can get!

About five of the tasks are already things we have done, so I am hoping to jump on the bandwagon, a little after 2012 has begun, and still work our way through many of the “bites” before the start of 2013.

Today, I began one task that has been a felt stress for me for some time. Streamlining our books. Matt will be glad to know that I didn’t touch any of HIS books, only my own. But in the end, have put together three tubs to pass on. The hardest thing about this all is the EMOTIONAL part of purging books. I look at each one and think, “Ah, that Rick Steves guide to Italy…that trip in 2000 was SO special!” Or, “Oh my goodness, The Cost of Discipleship. My small group suffered through that for a YEAR for our weekly study. I almost want to keep it as a trophy or badge of courage. A sign of our survival.”

Do you ever feel that way about books? They’re like friends. They remind me of times gone by. Of memories. Some books were given to me. Many given to me AT MY REQUEST. Coffee table art books. Classic Literature. Fiction that I couldn’t put down.

I’m sure many of you who read this blog will look at those pictures and think, “I GAVE HER THAT BOOK!!!! How could she be carelessly casting it away???”  Well, I am starting to come to grips with appearances. The appearance I want to keep up and maintain. I want people to come into my house and SEE what matters to me. To see what books I’ve devoured. Or slogged through. To see my interests. To relate and appreciate and agree. I keep books because MAYBE, just MAYBE I’ll read them again. They were life-changing, so obviously, I’d want to hold onto them. They’re Pulitzer Prize winners. I might NEED them again!

But folks, as I’ve discussed her previously, about 2 years ago, to help our budget, we became library connoisseurs. We started looking for books and putting ourselves on long waiting lists and learning that books can be enjoyed and appreciated and that they don’t have to burden our wallets and bookshelves.

I know that many of you might think I’m crazy or disagree….but I have to say, it feels pretty liberating. This is what I’m left with and I know it will decrease by about 5 that I’m still waffling over.

So…..I’m ready for the next steps…..purging the BOXES of children’s books we have stored.  I usually only keep two tubs of books for the kids….one rotating box of our books and one of library books.  And then, the one Matt’s been pestering me about for years…photo albums. I have a HUGE tub in the garage of the 1990s. And then four shelves worth inside our house. I think it might be time to enlist some scanning help from a professional and figure out what I really want to keep.

If you have any suggestions for where to dispose of books (church library sales? public library? used book stores? any of YOU!?!?), I would love some tips.

I’ll be posting about some other projects we tackle over the weeks to come and would encourage you to check out Tsh’s book as well. As today proved, it’s not easy, but in small “bites”, it is do-able.

I am registering Alex for KINDERGARTEN today.  Many of my friends have done the same recently, but when it’s your own…..when it’s your BABY (I mean, CLEARLY, that picture on the left was just taken yesterday….), well, it just seems impossible.  Changes are afoot for this sweet boy.  School every day.  Homework.  Walking to school.  Making new friends.  Recess.  No doubt, all these changes will be harder for us than him!  Matt and I clinked our glasses of ice water over dinner last night, amazed that we have made it this far in the parenting journey, and that we’re still standing.  CHEERS!

Before beginning this post, I must say….this is a bit of a stretch….some Valentine’s Day decorating for $4 + tax.  A stretch, because I heisted all the colored paper from paint samples at OSH.  Cringe.

Anyhow, today Alex and I decided we should do some decorating for Valentine’s Day since tomorrow starts the 2-week February countdown.  I’m not so keen on all the Hallmarky-gimmicky hooplah over the “Holiday of Sappy Love”, but since I was born, I have been obsessed with letters, mail and mailboxes.  So, the chance to focus on showing love for those in our lives, and to give some direction to my 4.5 year old crafter, meant that we worked on a few projects today.

Sunday I made the garland from the paint sample sheets and a heart puncher I had picked up a few months ago at Michaels.  Today, we took the leftover hearts and hung them on our tree (the one we used during Christmas for the Jesse tree).  Alex insisted on drawing his entire extended family because clearly, if it was a “love tree” we should have our family at the base.  Can’t really argue with that.  My Mom used to hang hearts from pussy willows when I was growing up (and shamrocks in March) and it clearly stuck in my head as a fun idea to replicate.

My favorite project, inspired by a post I read last year, were the mailboxes**.  I need to affix them a little more forcefully to the bases and get some more candlesticks (any locals have two or three they want to dispose of before I scour Goodwill????), but they still turned out pretty cute.  Alex is a bit over the moon.

Last project will be to frame the boys’ Valentines to display too.  I’ll be posting them on the 14th, but for now, would love to hear/see your fun ideas for decorating on the cheap.

**The mailboxes are currently available in the dollar section at Target….and yes, I know I just posted about not spending money on frivolous things at Target in the dollar section.  Sigh.