Indecision

Trying to multitask as always this morning….

~dishes

~laundry

~feeding Drew

~trying to squeeze in breakfast

~a work call with Westminster Woods (with Drew looking on and adding his insights, obviously)

~making the bed

~attempting to drink my Peet’s latte (big treat this morning!) before it’s ice cold

All the while, my mind is going back and forth over so many things.  Most of which involve decisions about next August and September.  Yes, 7-8 months away.  I know.  Those of you who know me well know that I’m always trying to figure stuff out and stress over things way in advance, unnecessarily.    Without going into mind-numbing, boring details (I’ll save that for Matt!), these things I’m thinking about actually DO need to be figured out in the next week or so.

The funny thing is, even when I figure out MY thoughts and make a decision, then it has to go into somebody else’s hands to figure out the final answer.  For example, I could finally decide that yes, I do want to stick my name in and see if I can get a part time teaching job.  Well, then it comes down to decisions made on the state and district levels, budgets & money trauma (and California sadly has a LOT of this kind of trauma these days) and schools themselves determining if they even NEED more teachers.

I was trying to multitask (making the bed, trying to get Drew to fall asleep for his morning nap and talking to my friend Karen at camp)….

(see…even Drew is laughing at the concept that all of those tasks are possible at once….)

when I found something in the diaper bag.  This “something” was given to me by Alex on Sunday and yes, it’s now WEDNESDAY and I’m finally looking at it, but I guess timing’s everything.

He did this in Sunday School last Sunday…..if you read my entry from Monday, then you’ll know that Sunday was a bit insane, so I didn’t look at it closely until now.  It has the story of the calling of the first disciples from Luke 5.

Once while Jesus was standing beside the lake of Gennesaret, and the crowd was pressing in on him to hear the word of God, he saw two boats there at the shore of the lake; the fishermen had gone out of them and were washing their nets. He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little way from the shore.


Then he sat down and taught the crowds from the boat. When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, ‘Put out into the deep water and let down your nets for a catch.’


Simon answered, ‘Master, we have worked all night long but have caught nothing. Yet if you say so, I will let down the nets.’


When they had done this, they caught so many fish that their nets were beginning to break. So they signalled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them.

And they came and filled both boats, so that they began to sink.


But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, ‘Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!’ For he and all who were with him were amazed at the catch of fish that they had taken; and so also were James and John, sons of Zebedee, who were partners with Simon.


Then Jesus said to Simon, ‘Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching people.’When they had brought their boats to shore, they left everything and followed him.

I have always LOVED this passage.  I can totally hear the tone in Simon’s voice, “YET….if you say so….I will let down the nets.”  Read between the lines, “you’re crazy, Jesus, but whatever.  I’ll just try and humor you.”  And then they get taken on the ride of their lives.  Jesus does this amazing miracle that blows their minds.  And being Jesus, he knows that they’re freaking out.  The implications of his miracle and what he will then ask of them are SCARE-REE!!!!  Leaving everything.  Following him.  Leaving everything.  Following him.  Leaving everything?????  Following him.

When I saw this page this morning and the cute fish Alex made (sidenote:  wouldn’t it be cool if fish really had sequins on them?  Camp craft shack gone wild!), I started looking at that construction paper fish wondering what is my “fish”.  What area of my life have I been trying, and working, and manipulating to see success and results to no avail?  Where is God asking me to just drop down my net and try again, trusting that he has a “catch” bigger than I could even imagine.  And then the scary part, what is he going to ask me to leave behind in order to follow him?

Teaching again would be scary.  It’s been 3 years, at the end of next month, since I’ve been in the classroom.  Things have changed.  It’s equally scary to think about NOT teaching.  What would that mean?  What would I do instead?

In Matthew 4, he talks about this same story Luke shared.  Matthew writes that when Jesus calls Peter and Andrew, that “at once they left their nets and followed him.”  I tend to find myself skeptical whenever reading this.  I think to myself, “REALLY!?!?  At ONCE???”  But hey, I guess if I’d seen him do such a life altering miracle in front of my eyes, I might be that quick to respond too.

So, rather than take these reminders found in the depths of the diaper bag today as something to discard, say, “oh, cute!” and move on, I will take it as a message to me in the midst of my indecision.  A reminder to put my net out ONE MORE TIME.  To expect the miracle.  And then to respond.

 

pictures from Ella K Lindvall’s Read Aloud Bible Stories, Volume 2

 

 

 

Follow Up:

A few weeks ago, I shared about a situation for some families who were hoping to finalize their adoptions in Nepal.

Well, just as I was writing this update, I got a message from my friend Liz…..good news indeed!

 

Thank you to everyone!

I just found out that our friends, the Vauses, received word that their petition for Shekhar’s visa has been approved!  They hope to have a meeting with the US Embassy on Friday and fly home next week!
Please continue to remember the many, many children and families stuck in limbo.  Here is a link to another family’s blog: http://nimajade.com/ with a great video at the bottom of these American families stuck in Nepal spending Christmas at an orphanage sharing gifts and cheer.  Thank goodness their experience has further drawn their hearts and ours closer to the needs of orphans in our world.
Thank you and yahoo!
Liz

2 thoughts on “Indecision

  1. Wanted to let you know that the 4th set of prompts for January Reflections is ready. If you’d like to get these via email every Mon. and Wed. visit the http://www.thegloriousimpossible.com and scroll to the bottom of the page. Under “Subscribe” click on “Subscribe by email.” You’ll then get an email every time I post to my blog. Blessings, Corrin

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