Slowly Learning

Every so often I think I’ve got it **{ALL}** figured out.  OK, let’s be real.  I usually live and operate in that mentality.  And often, if not all the time, something reminds me that I actually have NOTHING figured out.  That each day is really about opening myself up to the “not knowing” and mystery.  Remembering that the God I say I believe in is “I AM.”  And that that is all that matters.  End of story.

But then comes the kids and the myriad of constant questions that barrage my heart, my mind and my words and thoughts in regards to their lives.

And then, worries about money.  And food.  And work.

{Isn’t there a verse about that….???  And didn’t I JUST hear a sermon about that???  ha ha….}

‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink,* or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life?* 28And why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, 29yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these. 30But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31Therefore do not worry, saying, “What will we eat?” or “What will we drink?” or “What will we wear?” 32For it is the Gentiles who strive for all these things; and indeed your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

34 ‘So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

~Matthew 6:25-34


Ah, yes.  “Today’s trouble is enough for today.”  So true. 

I have been pretty busy with my parents’ visit last week and then an unexpected opportunity to substitute teach last Friday.  And laundry.  And sorting and purging.  And cooking.   And bill paying and checkbook balancing.

And then…….

FOUR babies were born last week….

Desmond and Anna Kort

Peter VanVoorhis

and Vera Grace Moore

And then two friends got engaged.  That story’s not mine to tell, but it is one of SWEET redemption and LONG friendship and deep joy.

And another friend announced she’s planning to move forward on adopting a baby.


Needless to say, all of these fun announcements and events are reminders.  And I’m a slow learner.  So I need LOTS of reminders.  Reminders that the wait does not last forever.  That God always does move…often in ways we don’t expect.  In timing that doesn’t make sense.  In places we would NEVER predict.  But, God moves.  God is not stagnant.

Spring is the physical and visual reminder of this.  The ground that has laid dormant for so long is starting to be pushed aside for blossoms to push through.  I keep seeing daffodils and tulips painting gorgeous, colorful pictures all around the south bay suburban sprawl.  Each time, it’s a reminder to this SLOW learner, that God is moving and shaking even when we don’t seem to be able to see or perceive it.

I am about to do a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.

~Isaiah 43:19

I am trying to live out this lesson.  To be less quick to judge.  To slow down my quick and harsh words.  To see from others’ perspectives. To get off the computer or Blackberry long enough to play and build a parking garage (or a skyscraper, or a pirate ship, or Target, or a cargo boat, or a ferry………we heart blocks in the Gough household these days).

And also to think about some bigger issues when I get enough sleep to actually think straight.  I want to write more about this in the future, so hold me accountable.  Parenting not from a place of fear for lacking control.  But a place of love.

For now, as we enter the season of Lent tomorrow and the waiting for Easter and the resurrection, I will be trying to see the ground as opportunity.  See the dirt as a holder of beautiful unexpected things to come.  As Easter reminds us, though, before the unexpected opportunities and life emerges, there is a time of barrenness, loneliness, and pain.  The darkness of giving up.  Of Good Friday and Lent.  May we show up and be present in the darkness and pain.  And communicate through and in it.  May we actively look for and seek to perceive this new thing that God is doing.

{And thank you, dear Lord, for giving us new lives, babies, marriages to remind us of all that you have in store!}

Picture taken from a blog post about meaningful ways to celebrate Easter.  Check it out here.

3 thoughts on “Slowly Learning

  1. Thnkyou Christine for this lovely post which echos many of my musings these days, ie the imperitive to pay attention and remain present. Also, I am reading Ann VosKamp’s beautiful book upon your inspiration (the post on Manna). Thank you.

    Today’s verse in “Jesus Calling” was Matthew 6:33!!! Phyllis

  2. ps, another thing I came across today re “getting ready for lent” was in reference to “picking things up” for Lent (in contrast to giving things up): ie the Fruits of the Spirit. “I’m picking up Patience”. I really liked that. Phyllis

  3. Well, I could have written a lot of that post. 🙂 The struggle is also mine. But I take comfort in that bc it means we are growing and that we are human.

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