the Horizon

Take a minute to soak in those eyebrows.  The slight raise.  The focus.  The almost questioning line.  I could sit and watch it forever.  It makes me simultaneously giggle and get teary eyed and just wonder, “Who in the world is this little person?!?!”

He’s also into pointing things out and finally speaking and uttering slightly understandable words.  One of the nursery workers at the church commented, after not seeing him for a month, what an explosion had happened in four weeks with his communication skills.

He loves saying, “CHEERS!” with boisterous enthusiasm, almost consistently spilling my coffee, wine or water.  And lately, Drew can’t get enough of books.

Photo: Drew pouring over the new issue of Sunset Magazine.  Airstream GOODNESS! http://instagr.am/p/NUHuE_E-eo/

….and being silly.  Anything to get a laugh, those Gough boys.

Photo: Hardy har har.... http://instagr.am/p/NUBeaok-aq/

Photo: Star Wars fun..... http://instagr.am/p/NRy0elk-Qf/

He also loves taking any pillows down and “napping”.   {and as my friend Ginna commented, “They look really calm when they are resting this way…Really…they’re just taking a break and plotting their next move…I know…I’ve done it…”}

Photo: Napping Drew http://instagr.am/p/NO2NQRE-Rm/

We have some brotherly moments, mostly when Drew is strapped in the high chair….SECURE and “stationary”.

I’ve been **trying** to be proactive and do some fun projects with the boys.  This week a friend posted an amazing website on Facebook called The Imagination Tree.  People….if you want to get lost in crazy fun ideas, this is the place to do it.  Yesterday, I whipped up some lavender no cook playdough.  Our lavender bush out back almost knocks you down on the way out of the house and this seemed the perfect way to use some.  Drew ate it.  OOPS.  Alex, however, LOVED it.  I am always amazed and reminded of the gift of simple crafts and imaginative play once I just let them unfold.

Photo: First time with playdough.  Tasted it.  Rookie mistake, Drew.   http://instagr.am/p/NY4fr7E-fS/

Our week has been filled to the brim with lavender playdough, s’mores, birthday parties, bbqs, work, Matt preaching, a glorious 5 day visit from my friend Becky, swimming lessons, breakfast in bed.  The horizon, the next “thing”, is kind of a mirage and blur in the distance.

Photo: Breakfast in Bed!....and Aunt Becky comes today! http://instagr.am/p/NGnVkJE-dG/

Photo: At Fremont Pool.....breathing for the first time today and enjoying Anthology Magazine! http://instagr.am/p/NMuar4k-UH/

{Alex and Harper, 2 mos/1 day old VS 5 years, 2 mos/5 years old….grateful for this friendship!}

Photo: S'mores with Cassie & Janine! http://instagr.am/p/NXw6hVk-RB/

At some points in life, the horizon, the intersection of the ground we’re standing on and the “out there”, the sky that holds the future adventures, seems fuzzy, far off and distant.  Only the here and now is in focus.  Some days are like that with the boys.  It’s all about Drew’s eyebrows.  Playdough.  Getting to and from work and school.  Putting meals on the table and getting lunch boxes packed.

Other days, I come up for air, spending hours in the evening scouring job postings, wondering what is on the horizon.  So far, nothing for fall.  Fall seemed far off.  But now, the crazy reality of Alex starts kindergarten in a month (WHAT?!?!?) and me being unemployed seems to have created a fuzzy and funky horizon.  There is plenty to DO but employment is obviously helpful too and it seems to ground me a bit.

Instead of freak out, as I’m prone to do, attempts are being made to steady myself.  To focus.  Drew is modeling it….that intense, eyebrow-ridden FOCUS.

And as a motion sickness traveler, I have been always told to focus on the horizon.  To use the horizon’s firm and level reality to ground the dizziness of the moment.  This process tends to require a lot of trust and deep breaths.  Belief that God will meet me in the moments of unsteadiness.  God becomes my Dramamine /My Travel Eze Wristbands when the world is spinning.  God even uses the craziness and antics of the here and now to ground me.  In the “not sure”, groping in the dark for the light switch, dizziness of the rolling sea moments, we are still called to focus.  God, give us the courage to put that focus on you and move forward.

Living is a form of not being sure....

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