Seeing

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With a little “sounding out” help from me, Alex crafted this note on Tuesday night to go into Drew’s lunchbox on Wednesday. I love the sentiment and the fact that “really” and “so” BOTH had to be included. Much of the time we are monitoring our boys’ interactions, helping with communication trials between the two, frustrations that crop up & antics gone wild. There are times, though, moments like seeing this note, when I’m reminded that deep underneath the day-to-day challenges, there is brother love.

Currently, I’m reading {“plowing through” might be more apt as it’s due at the library today with no chance for parole!} Happier at Home by Gretchen Rubin. She wrote and published The Happiness Project a few years back and this new book is an extension of that project. She shared the following quote that hit me as I read last night, “See the child you have, not the child you wish you had.” –Michel de Montaigne

It knocked me out of my head to read that, internalize it and process the richness of those words. SEE the child you have. Seeing the blessings that wake up under the same roof as you everyday. Believing in them. Trusting that their quirks, frustrating behaviors and qualities that might grate one’s nerves are part of their inherent goodness.

Somedays I question my ability to parent well. I feel a gap in my patience reserves. I have lost creativity and vision for teaching & shepherding well. Subconsciously, I think I begin to question the child I have. I wish for some “grass is greener” reality.

So today, my quest for parenting well is a desire to love well. To love unconditionally. To remind my boys that I REALLY love them. In fact, I REALLY love them SO much. No matter what. And while I’m at it, speaking the same message to myself, in the midst of my hap-hazard, best attempts at parenting. That I too am loved. REALLY loved. SO much. A Love not dependent on results. A Love not based on a perfect picture of a perfect family. A Love not relying on expectations being met. A LOVE that surpasses understanding.

8 thoughts on “Seeing

    1. Oh, yes, Ilse. I know you understand and you model this unconditional love so well. It still continually surprises me how deeply God loves and offers grace, yet how hard it is to dish that back out in similar abundance.

  1. I wish I had read this 25 years ago, and kept it in my heart as I was raising my sons. I know that they know they are loved, but it would have been easier to parent, remembering to love them for the child they were….sigh. Thank you for your grace-filled words. I may share some of your words at prayer group tomorrow morning at Vargas. Hugs, Molly

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